Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground

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0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

miss Suzy had a steamboat, miss suzy had a baby

  1. (ed: Most of this seems to be 'Miss Lulu' by another name)

    The contributor says she and her friend Anne always sang "Miss Suzy" as a hand clapping rhyme, though supposes you could just sing it with out any percussion accompaniments:

    Miss Suzy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell (ding ding)
    Miss Suzy went to heaven, the steamboat went to
    Hello operator, please give me number nine
    If you disconnect me, I'll cut off your
    Behind the 'frigerator, there was a piece of glass
    Miss Suzy fell upon it and it cut her in the
    Ask me no more questions and tell me no more lies
    The boys are in the bathroom zipping up their
    Flies are in the meadow, bees are in the park
    Miss Suzy and her boyfriend were kissing in the
    D. A. R. K. D. A. R. K. D. A. R. K. Dark
    If you ever get hit with a bucket of shit,
    be sure to close your eyes.

    next version:

    Miss Suzy had a steam boat,
    The steam boat had a bell,
    The steam boat went to heaven
    Miss Suzy went to.... (last word of the verse is first word of next. . .)
    Hello operator,
    Please give me number nine,
    And if you disconnect me,
    I'll kick you in your....
    Behind the 'fridgerator,
    There was a piece of glass,
    Miss Suzy fell upon it,
    And cut her little....
    Ask me no more questions,
    And tell me no more lies,
    The boys are in the bathroom,
    Zipping up their....
    Flies are in the city,
    And bees are in the park,
    Miss Suzy and her boyfriend,
    Are kissing in the
    D-A-R-K D-A-R-K Dark, Dark,
    Darker than the ocean,
    Darker than the sea,
    Darker than the underwear
    My mommy puts on me!
    I know you know my mommy,
    I know you know my pa,
    I know you know my sister
    With the 42 inch bra!

    She isn't sure if this was part of the original song but always finished of with these verses.

    Heeeey girls!
    Wanna have some fun?
    Here comes John
    With his pants undone!
    He can wibble he can wobble
    He can do the splits
    But I betcha five dollars
    He can't do this!
    Close your eyes,
    And count to ten,
    If you miss,
    You marry him!

    (At this point you were supposed to close you eyes and and continue the hand clapping pattern without missing. At the same time you counted out to ten. 'John' could be replaced with any boy's name who was coming your way.)

    Yet another version:

    Miss Suzy had a steamboat,
    The steamboat had a bell.
    Miss Suzy went to heaven,
    The steamboat went to...
    Hello operator,
    Please give me number nine,
    If you disconnect me,
    I'll chop off your behind...
    The 'frigerator, there was a piece of glass,
    Miss Suzy sat upon it,
    And broke her little
    Ask me no more questions,
    Please tell me no more lies,
    The boys are in the bathroom,
    Zipping up their...
    Flies are in the meadow
    Bees are in the park.
    Miss Suzy and her boyfriend
    Are kissing in the
    Dark! Dark!
    Dark is like a movie
    A movie's like a show
    A show is like a TV set
    And that is all I know.
    I know I know my ma.
    I know I know my pa.
    I know I know my sister
    With the forty acre bra!

    Lordy... yet more :) This time from 'merry popins'...hmmm...

    Mary had a steamboat
    steamboat had a bell "ding ding"
    Mary went to heaven and steamboat went to
    hello operator please give me number nine
    and if you disconnect me I'll kick you in
    behind the yellow curtain there laid a piece of glass,
    Mary sat upon it and broke her little
    ask me no more questions I'll tell you no more lies
    the boys are in the washroom zipping up
    the flies are in the city
    the bees are in the park
    Mary and her boyfriend are kissing in the
    D-A-R-K dark is like a movie
    movies like a show
    ask me more questions cause that is all i
    know you know ya ma
    i know you know my pa
    i know you know my sister with 80 meter bra

    Source: circa 1950's +, USA

  2. Another version from Vani:

    Miss Suzy had a baby,
    She named him Tiny Tim,
    She put him in the bath tub,
    To see if he could swim,

    He drank up all the water,
    He ate up all the soap,
    He tried to eat the bat tub,
    But it wouldn't go down his throat,

    Miss Suzy called the Doctor,
    Miss Suzy called the Nurse,
    Miss Suzy called the lady with the alligator purse

    (ed: I'm sure the remainder of this goes as follows:

    Dead said the doctor
    Dead said the nurse
    Dead said the lady with the alligator purse

    But he wasn't!

  3. Miss suzy had a baby,
    She named him tiny Tim,
    She put him in the toilet,
    To see if he could swim.
    He swam around the bottom,
    he swam around the top.
    Miss suzy got excited
    And she flushed him down the pot pot pot.

  4. (ed: and yet another version from Cassie( Miss Suzy had a steamboat
    The steamboat had a bell (ding ding)
    Miss Suzy went to heaven
    The steamboat went to
    HELLO operator
    Give me #9
    The boys are in the bathroom
    Zipping up their
    Flies are in the meadow
    Bees are in the barn
    Miss Suzy and her boyfriend
    Are kissing in the
    D. A. R. K., D. A. R. K.
    DARK DARK DARK
    Is like a movie
    A movie's like a show
    A show is like a theater
    And that is all I know.
    I know my ma
    I know, I know my pa
    I know, I know my sister with the 80 acre bra
    My mom is Godzilla
    My dad is king kong
    My brother is the idiot who made me sing this song.